Back to work I go, back to work I go– It’s been an interesting sort of week or two 0r more since I’ve gone back to work and honestly? I’m working a shit lot of overtime due to a very inconsiderate person randomly going on leave–I normally wouldn’t be upset about overtime or whatnot, but the fact that it was announced out of the blue without any preparation is just…had everyone scrambling to fix and fill in her shifts which is exasperating on me since I now close from 3 to 11 every Monday and Wednesday and sometimes open a few days a week. I think if she planned it better instead of saying it was happening a few days before she left on leave, I wouldn’t be upset so much. So fatigued with it. I at least planned ahead and let them know when and how my leave of absence was happening, but I can guess it was either an emergency or not. I hope to god it was an emergency because I’m tired of working overtime. I got 42 hours last week and this week- 41 or possibly more depending on how much they need me, which is a lot. I dropped from 16.50 an hour to 16 an hour. To be fair, I should be making more than that…but that’s the US for you with stagnant wages and higher costs of living, health care and whatnot.
Author: Shellyyum
The Way, The Only Way
I go back to work in less than one week and honestly? I’m ready for it. I’m ready to go back to work and be productive again and be around familiar faces plus, I’ll be back in my old position of Service Supervisor which is fantastic by the way because my previous entry was about me not fitting into my new position and asking to step down from it. I don’t know if it was the right or wrong call but I had to do what was right for me in that moment and I know maybe I jumped the gun but the fact I was in that position for a month or two…I think I judged myself well in knowing what I was good at and not. I think that’s a good enough way to judge if I’m perfect for the position or not despite my depression raging in the background and me taking all of May off to get TMS done.
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Still Aliveeeee At What Cost?
Welcome to the second layout of Dreaming Arcadia, thanks to Karen of Snow Drops and yeah, I’m still alive and wasting away…just kidding, right? Anyhow, this month has been fraught with a lot of changes and by big changes really meaning that I’m off work for a month awaiting short term disability to pay me and whatnot. And getting it approved throughout the system but in the end, I’m working on improving myself and slowly, reaching back out to myself though I fear I’ll never get back the person I was before mental illness took over in my early to late twenties. Bipolar Disorder is one hell of a mental illness along with BPD aka Borderline Personality Disorder. It robbed me of the potential that my life held for me and with my various procedures with getting my gallbladder taken out, my weight loss surgery and one I was considering because of gynecological issues…which I didn’t have done, because that’s a whole host of other issues like entering menopause and taking fake hormones and whatnot. OH well.
Updates NOW!? What GIVES!?
I’ve been neglecting this blog because I believed that a new layout would be here already but, it’s almost done and it’s great by the way and made by the lovely affiliate Karen, which is fantastic. How has life been? Work been? Hard to say because I’ve started TMS aka Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Google it. It’s great and it has helped me a whole lot in the past, so I decided to try it again within my doctor’s office. And I met my deductible for the year since I’m in the US and health insurance is tied to your employer. Stupid, honestly. Plus my strength for blogging has been diminished because of said depression, really as it has been overwhelmingly awful on me and any past activities I’ve done and had fun with. Yet, I’m not well in a lot of ways.
{insert why the US doesn’t have single healthcare system}
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Something Wonderful
Sorry for the lack of updates, because honestly? It’s been crazy these last few weeks going into March meaning with my new position and training for it. Luckily, it’s okay now because I’m slowly getting the hang of it and it’s great, honestly. I wish I would have listened to myself better rather than doubt myself because it got so hard, or I thought it was going to be so hard in the end. It wasn’t. I shouldn’t have allowed the depression to get back at me but it’s harder than I thought to battle it when I have my anxiety flaring up because of expectations from others but it’s fine now. I’m slowly getting into the routine of it all. Thank God!
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