EDIT: Have an ulcer and/or inflammation in my stomach connecting to my esophagus because of my bariatric surgery/gastric sleeve, which doesn’t happen a lot but can happen. Therapy went well, but I’m cutting it off because I can’t forgive myself nor my mother for all the hurt she caused me and continues as I take medication and suffer from BPD because of what she does. It’s a constant reminder of her failure as a person and parent to love and actually nourish her child, me. Tomorrow I see my pain/spine doctor and I’ll for sure get into physical therapy, though to point it all out, I’m getting a EGD and colonscopy to confirm these diagnosis that’s happening with my stomach and rectum.
Went to the ER twice and with the knowledge that I have a few conditions: Apparently, I have a slight Hiatal hernia, Grade 1 anterolisthesis and a right ovarian cyst measured at 2.6-2.7 mm. All found incidental on a ct scan for abdominal pain. How unlucky or lucky am I? I’m guessing honestly the latter at this point: Unlucky though, I should note that I’m seeing doctors next week for a lot of my procedures and whatnot…and discussions about these new findings especially since a lot of them can be surgical in nature but luckily, I might not need surgery, if possible, as I am trying to starve off that possibility because it takes a lot of paperwork and such for work to process a leave of absence and just getting approved for short time disability…
So, I’m hoping to avoid that, unfortunately, it’s all been weighing on me heavily to the point that I had to cry about it–and when I mean cry, I just sobbed about it since I was holding it all in, which doesn’t do me any good apparently. Y0u think I’d know that and I do, but it’s hard sometimes. I guess, it is what it is. I made sure to put in days off for my doctor appointments so they can be approved for work, because I had to make sure I get them off before anyone else, honestly. First come first serve basis, really. I’ll be paid less that next week but I gotta take care of myself and that means going to the many god forsaken doctor appointments as possible to dela with these new issues. In the end, I suppose it could be worse, though I’m not sure. Even work is changing again with our current department head Lisha leaving for something better because of her divorce and just not making enough money which I completely understand. Sometimes you gotta better yourself and that means sometimes, leaving what you’re used to for the unfamiliar.
I guess, I’m worried about how the new department head of the Front End will be like…We got a bad one when the other one quit and honestly, I’m hoping for the best for us in the front end but I really believe in the people that I work with and we really do get things done and refuse to actually do anything half ass, really; so everything should be all right at work, I suppose. I’m just worried, that’s all.
EDIT: Applied for the position to be the new Department head and hope that I get it or at the very least, I know I did my best.
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