The Way, The Only Way

I go back to work in less than one week and honestly? I’m ready for it. I’m ready to go back to work and be productive again and be around familiar faces plus, I’ll be back in my old position of Service Supervisor which is fantastic by the way because my previous entry was about me not fitting into my new position and asking to step down from it. I don’t know if it was the right or wrong call but I had to do what was right for me in that moment and I know maybe I jumped the gun but the fact I was in that position for a month or two…I think I judged myself well in knowing what I was good at and not. I think that’s a good enough way to judge if I’m perfect for the position or not despite my depression raging in the background and me taking all of May off to get TMS done.

Then on my leave, I found out that one of my co workers the one that believed and helped me during my training in the new position I was in, had a heart attack at work and was now in the ICU at the local hospital. The first visit was difficult only for the fact that I didn’t realize how frightening it was to look upon anyone in a hospital bed and while, I had so many surgeries in just a few short years, the earliest being my gallbladder removal surgery- I never considered how terrifying it was for anyone to see me in a bad even for a routine surgery. Who knew that hospital visits were that anxiety ridden? I sure didn’t, though he was conscious briefly, he at least remembered me and gave me a big hug and I was told that I made his day by one of the nurses that took care of him. So, I nominated her for best caregiver or whatnot to show my support because you don’t know how much this coworker meant to me, because he was always rooting for me and his kindness was amazing. Then, I met another problem with another coworker and found out that domestic violence is part of her existence and while I won’t go into much details here, I will say that I grew up with that and it strained me as an adult to the point of fearing when I thought I should be hit and no one should be hit. PERIOD.

I had to console her but the fact of the matter is I can’t do anything for me even if I wanted to, but it breaks my heart, honestly to see this coworker is pain. Though, despite those two bad events, Marley made a new friend! And we went to the park! Marley is 10, and is picky about her friends ever since her best friend passed a few years ago. It sucks but it happens and they happened to move away so long ago when the rent went up, because of course the landlords were greedy.