New Exciting Chapters Await Me
How is it already July? How it already a month until my birthday? My birthday is on the 8th of August and already, I’m dreading and anticipating it with excitement and happiness. Weird, how these emotions keep plaguing me and I know that no one outside my family will remember or care about my birthday and I don’t plan on working on my birthday at all. I’m planning on getting my hair done again that day, going to Anime Pop, and maybe go Goodwill Thrifting at the Outlet with my aunt and husband. And the 2nd, is the My Chemical Romance concert in my city and I plan on busting my butt at work before I see that concert; either way, they are playing my favorite album of theirs- Welcome to the Black Parade ; One I have on repeat constantly in the car. Their best album to date, honestly. You cannot convince me otherwise.
I cannot wait to be 36 this year but it begs the question of, I didn’t expect to be alive this long honestly and it sucks that I feel this way due to my trauma. I should be going back to therapy again but I haven’t because of scheduling conflicts and whatnot but it has done me a lot of good; though hearing bad things about myself through the grapevine, makes me want to tear down the boundary between my former mother—but I won’t because she thrives on drama and I refuse to give her the satisfaction either way. I hate being the bigger person, but it’s for a good reason and a damned good reason at that. My mother still hasn’t grown up even at age 50 and up. I have nothing to say to her anymore.
Still An Update of Sorts
Back to work I go, back to work I go– It’s been an interesting sort of week or two 0r more since I’ve gone back to work and honestly? I’m working a shit lot of overtime due to a very inconsiderate person randomly going on leave–I normally wouldn’t be upset about overtime or whatnot, but the fact that it was announced out of the blue without any preparation is just…had everyone scrambling to fix and fill in her shifts which is exasperating on me since I now close from 3 to 11 every Monday and Wednesday and sometimes open a few days a week. I think if she planned it better instead of saying it was happening a few days before she left on leave, I wouldn’t be upset so much. So fatigued with it. I at least planned ahead and let them know when and how my leave of absence was happening, but I can guess it was either an emergency or not. I hope to god it was an emergency because I’m tired of working overtime. I got 42 hours last week and this week- 41 or possibly more depending on how much they need me, which is a lot. I dropped from 16.50 an hour to 16 an hour. To be fair, I should be making more than that…but that’s the US for you with stagnant wages and higher costs of living, health care and whatnot.
The Way, The Only Way
I go back to work in less than one week and honestly? I’m ready for it. I’m ready to go back to work and be productive again and be around familiar faces plus, I’ll be back in my old position of Service Supervisor which is fantastic by the way because my previous entry was about me not fitting into my new position and asking to step down from it. I don’t know if it was the right or wrong call but I had to do what was right for me in that moment and I know maybe I jumped the gun but the fact I was in that position for a month or two…I think I judged myself well in knowing what I was good at and not. I think that’s a good enough way to judge if I’m perfect for the position or not despite my depression raging in the background and me taking all of May off to get TMS done.