How is it already July? How it already a month until my birthday? My birthday is on the 8th of August and already, I’m dreading and anticipating it with excitement and happiness. Weird, how these emotions keep plaguing me and I know that no one outside my family will remember or care about my birthday and I don’t plan on working on my birthday at all. I’m planning on getting my hair done again that day, going to Anime Pop, and maybe go Goodwill Thrifting at the Outlet with my aunt and husband. And the 2nd, is the My Chemical Romance concert in my city and I plan on busting my butt at work before I see that concert; either way, they are playing my favorite album of theirs- Welcome to the Black Parade ; One I have on repeat constantly in the car. Their best album to date, honestly. You cannot convince me otherwise.
I cannot wait to be 36 this year but it begs the question of, I didn’t expect to be alive this long honestly and it sucks that I feel this way due to my trauma. I should be going back to therapy again but I haven’t because of scheduling conflicts and whatnot but it has done me a lot of good; though hearing bad things about myself through the grapevine, makes me want to tear down the boundary between my former mother—but I won’t because she thrives on drama and I refuse to give her the satisfaction either way. I hate being the bigger person, but it’s for a good reason and a damned good reason at that. My mother still hasn’t grown up even at age 50 and up. I have nothing to say to her anymore.
With that nonsense done with my mother, or former mother because she did disown me yet, I did discover that my raise was sort of taken away and I’m only making 16 an hour but it’s better than 15, so I can’t complain but I did step away from a bad position at work even if the coworker that I like recovers from open heart surgery. He’s a great guy but I’m glad he’s recovering well at least from the updates and sadly, the other coworker dealing with domestic violence got fired and she’s worse off for wear but I can’t do anything, in fact only she has the power to leave and honestly, she’ll probably die under her husband and his abuse and while, it doesn’t sit right with me, I can’t save those that cannot save themselves. I just wish none of this was happening even if I never met her husband– this is all ick honestly. I’m beyond devastated. Either way, I’m there if she needs a friend but knowing how tricky those situations are, and knowing how my mother did that to my father—I’m sticking my nose out of it. I don’t need the drama when I’m fragile as fuck, honestly.
Work is going well–in fact we rocked corporate’s socks off in a good way and I even shook hands with the Vice President of the company that owns our store–we’re a smaller sub brand under Albertsons and whatnot, so yeah. I’m excited though there is some trouble with my weight…kind of lost another lb when I was meaning too, so I’m down from 110 to 109lbs.
