EDIT: It’s a cold! My husband Jose is sick with a cold! Not the flu, or COVID, but a cold that’s been kicking his butt; luckily, he’s on medication for it now, but it still sucks either way for him. He’s slowly recovering which is great!
The husband is sick–which we suspect is either a cold or flu and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t get it from me and instead just got it; though I got the flu shot earlier last year but the thing to remember is that I’m usually the cause of his sickness though one time he did give me COVID, so there’s that and that was a doozy. Either way, I’m doing my best to take care of him and not allow him to remain sick because it can get to me but for now? I’m just suffering from allergies but if I have the flu, I’m using a sick day or two to feel better, if and when it happens and if it doesn’t happen, I’m all better to it.
After a month or two of not being able to get my hair done–which I badly need to–it’s finally going to be cut and colored again to Hot Pink or Magenta; Either way, I’m ready for all of my faux hawk to actually be cut and have that pixie cut again which I love because my hair has grown long enough and fast enough to have that hairstyle again. I can’t wait. Either way, I don’t things are so bad now but hopefully I’ll know Monday or Tuesday what the rash inside my bellybutton is (navel) and why I had to get stitches too–I know that part but honestly? It hurts like hell and it’s due to be have the stitches out in Feb, early Feb. Plus, I’m awaiting until my permanent crowns come in from the dental lab and I get them put in because honestly? I’m so over these temporary ones and just the pain that they give me though I admit that I’m getting used to them but soon, this dental nightmare will be over and I won’t have to be back to the dentist until April when I get my cleaning treatments done. It’s done because my gums were in a state of periodontal disease and I would have lost everything in my mouth, though my insurance isn’t paying for anything because they deem it “cosmetic” and appealing it didn’t help nor would help my case. Either way, I’m going through the motions plus two big loans to pay off from the hospital where I got my gallbladder surgery at and the other being the crowns themselves.
Luckily, I got a dental grant to cover most of it but it is what it is, I suppose. I admit that therapy is going well, but, I’m stumped because I don’t want to work on the homework given to me by my social worker–affirmations, positive ones that I know to be true for me. That has been difficult for me because honestly, I grew up believing what ever anyone said about me whether or not it was exaggeration or not–either way, it came from the people that were meant to love and support me but didn’t. I think a lot of things in my life have been lies about how I was made to hate my dad for things he supposedly did but never really did too because my mother was great at lying and whatnot; but at the end, the truth is revealed and I’m shuffling through the trauma of what and who I am. The falling out with a whole community was harder because I was more worried about real threats to my safety since they knew where I lived and apparently were trying to cancel me, because of the whole issue of me supposedly being the one that wrote a comment (pretty sad and stupid) that hurt someone’s feelings, but the thing is, we choose to let strangers hurt us. And as a good quote always says: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
That quote always struck with me because it’s true, but honestly? It’s just difficult to believe in all the good things in yourself when you’re always fatigued from work, and people openly hate you in a way that they could send real world issues to you. Though I admit I lost a friend over not being “hateful” enough because of the current administration in power within Washington. Because everything they said was just argumentative and made me feel pity for them—for they had a lot of hate in their heart and honestly? I don’t have time to dwell on hate on anyone, only that they will get what they get in life either through karma or the worst aspects of their lives being shitty. My instant karma is twitter dying and them being stuck on that platform. To be fair, none of the political parties in America represent me. They’re not left enough. They’re not radical enough. I’m more a revolutionist than anything and that governments should fear the people and not try to be tyrannical or else we have the right to dismantle it via a revolution.
Affirmations.
Affirmations.
At least I’m getting back into writing stories, whether it be fan fiction and/or poetry and I’m loving it. I’ve missed that part of myself that used to enjoy those things so long ago. Book reading is another essential aspect of myself that I missed dearly. Either way, I hope that my medical issues go away and that I can start believing in these affirmations about myself. I have a few that I haven’t written done but it’s true.
I am worthy of healing…
Plus, I finally got my hair done! Thank goodness! I couldn’t before a long time since the weather turned deadly and the fact that schedules never keep aligning with my hair stylist! OMG.
Work is fine as far as I know. I’m doing more. I’m leaning more and that’s important or everything really. I’m enjoying this weather not this political climate of fear, paranoia and just danger everywhere. It’s terrifying all around. Either way, I hope all of y’all reading will have a good week!
