Anxiety is a bitch and I don’t say that lightly at all– In fact, I’m suffering badly from it and by badly, having panic attacks to work, dissociating and the likes too, just overwhelmed with bad thoughts of self harm etc; I try to talk to my clinical social worker but, it’s difficult when work is always pulling me in every direction–that’s the life of a supervisor of a very busy super market or rather grocery store if you caught my drift. I’m a great employee, just struggling again and I hate that I can’t have a single year where anything goes right, whether it be cyberbullying from years past, dealing with mental illness collapses and whatnot and surgery from last year with my gallbladder being taken out but to be honest? I’m always considered fragile by everyone including at work, and it’s impossible to understand these days, luckily, I see my psychiatric nurse practitioner and hopefully, we can get to the root causes of these panic attacks, because nothing has changed. I’m freed from the responsibility of the back up bookkeeper which I couldn’t do. Which I couldn’t deal with and honestly? It’s better that way, and our resident bookkeeper is coming back after he had open heart surgery last month–
Then, hearing about my own aunt’s woes concerning church and her pastor–makes me think that hiding behind religion because as it often states that religion or rather faith is both an open hand and a prison and people often hide behind it. Plus the financial woes of my husband and him losing his teeth–I’ll have to check on that for him and honestly? Dental work is expensive and I’m dealing with some residual pain on my left side from my degenerative disc disease and sciatica. It’s frustrating that I lost all the weight and take Wegovy, got bariatric and still, I’m plagued with pain, however small is frustrating especially when it was the weight at such a young age that was killing my spine and whatnot. I’m thinking that I might have to get into more localized treatments to deal with it. Physical therapy and whatnot, though I suppose it can’t be helped and I gotta do what I gotta do to preserve my health and spine function. Plus, pain is no good really, when I’m trying to do daily tasks and whatnot. And function. Luckily, we fixed the car and the many issues and it was devastating to my husband because it cost more in labor than in parts, truly, though we feel like the mechanic made a mistake but we’ll see Sat or so next week when he looks at it. Hoping for good things, honestly!
Plus you’ve noticed! New new layout! I like to thank my designer and coder (two different people) for this design and just the commissioned artwork that I have laying around~ They are awesome but this is the defacto blog layout for the foreseeable future~I hope you enjoy the detectives from Danganronpa, and Persona. Various types, really.
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