Back to blogging again despite losing initial interest in it a few months ago, but I’m glad that I’m back! Welcome to Dreaming Arcadia Version 2!. Though, I’m not sure when I’ll update or when things happen but there are updates from the beginning of the year, when I had to take medical leave off work due to becoming allergic to my medicine which I used for moods aka Lamictal, and thus I was out for nearly a month.

A month and honestly? I got short term disability from it and was fine. Thank god for my job and being full time though I worry about how lenient my job is about illnesses and such and employees being the worst, but honestly? It is what it is and things like these makes life better and easier since I always get sick a lot of the time and it sucks, though, that month off was before Valentine’s Day going into nearly into the half of March.

Can’t I have a good year, one of these days? Then more news regarding my health as my weight ballooned and I had to go on Wegovy, a weight loss drug that is in injected and being on it for two months, or so, I’ve lost 20 lbs and it’s been frustrating and crazy at how it suppresses my hunger. It’s frightening at how accurate that it works and how quickly, too; Either way, my relationship with my husband is well as we celebrated 10 years of marriage on the 9th of March while I was on medical leave.

Then in a month or two in August, I’ll be 35.
I don’t know how I’m feeling honestly about getting older but it will be here and there’s nothing I can do about it anymore, so worrying about it will do nothing but be destructive, honestly. And I don’t want that. It does help that I get pay raises at work every 6 months, but here it goes around with being a supervisor and learning all I can when and if my department head retires next year or at the end of next year. Either way, I’m finally valued and safe, like physically safe as I mentioned in my earlier entries back on the old blog that I was sexually harassed and touched inappropriately but wasn’t safe from retaliations from the perp and his wife that made work miserable.

This new location, I could start over, be safe and not worrying about bullying harassment or any of the sort because I just left and got rehired at this new location instead, which was the best decision that I ever did and constantly thank myself for.

I understand these things happen but somehow my working life is being turned on its head by the merger happening, or rather stalling and yet to be approved. I work at a Tom Thumb which is owned by Albertsons who is eyeing to merger for a million to billion dollar deal that’s bad for all. Employees and customers alike.

I don’t understand it all but I know monopolies stifle growth, competition, wages etc; and we’ll be owned by Piggly Wiggly which by all accounts isn’t a good store– either way, I’m trying to be optimistic about the whole merger business as everything can and will change. I’m annoyed. I might lose everything I’ve accomplished here etc; and my colored hair which was recoloured back to Hot Pink and styled after a young 1983 Annie Lennox of Sweet Dreams video fame.

But in Hot Pink and not orange.

Plus, been dealing with a ever frustrating and rotating schedule but it seems to have settled and I’ll have to close from 2 to 11 pm which isn’t terrible, if I could do it. Believe me, it’s boring, and quite full of entanglements and such. Either way, I’m not so angry at it anymore because my schedule reverted after a lot of push but what can’t be pushed back is my birthday!

I turn 35 on the 8th of August. Somehow, it’s crazy but here I am. Almost 35, didn’t believe I’d be here close to that age. Either way, I wish my mental health wasn’t so bad sometimes especially when it’s still be affected by sleeping issues. God. Then I have to worry about crowns in my mouth and paying for all of that.

Stress.
Stress is eating at me sometimes.
I swear to God, but luckily, my husband is sticking by me no matter what. Thank God. I would be lost without him, like literally as he drives me everywhere. I don’t think I could do anything without him, but like that, it’s just my life and one that I’m appreciative towards, though on the subject again of work— I heard a rumor that my long suffering department head will retire next month in August, and she’s been sort of giving me tips and little constructive criticism about being a supervisor which I do appreciate.. She wants me to improve and I want to take all her lessons to heart too, along with her good advice about standing up for myself as I’ve never been in a position of any sort of power or anything but it seems like I’m doing good despite some rough patches. Man, they were rough but I think I’m slowly getting the hang of it. The hang of being firm and whatnot; yet kind but demanding about what needs to be done with the job and whatnot and that’s something that can’t be taken away from me. The determination to be stronger and myself at the same time despite my trauma.

That I can definitely be myself, yet, be fulfilled at work and life–in general. I think that’s what I’m taking from this job not to mention that I’ve been at the company for nearly 4 years already though, I’m not sure what the future holds much for me since we’re part of that whole Kroger and Alberstons merger going on, though it’s been blocked. For now. And we’re one of the few stores that will be sold in the merger to appease the FTC, aka the Federal Trade Commission overseeing this but in the end, what will happen, I don’ know. I can only know that my job is safe and that anything is possible.