Might or might not delete this entry because I feel like a lot has happened recently that I’m unable to record or even type it all out but the gist of it is that I got a new promotion at work and starting this upcoming Monday, I’ll be training really really early in the morning for it around 5 (which will be my new schedule, too) until 2 or 3 in the afternoon plus a pay raise. A dollar and 50 cent pay raise which is fantastic! Plus, it’s full time too! I’ll be the book keeper, well, assistant Bookkeeper or rather their insane title for it: Assistant Administrator Coordinator. Woot what a mouthful!
Life has gotten better for those reasons and the fact that I won’t be dealing with customers face to face, but rather employees so yeah….luckily, that’s easier for me because I already got a bad review- 1 star on google for it and them calling me out for such poor service when they were a pretty bad customer, and weren’t receptive to customer service that day—Valentine’s Day!
Who goes for chicken on that day? Luckily with this new position, it means more consistent hours and not fucking closing which I hated for a long time because honestly, my bedtime is 10pm, not fucking 11pm so honestly this is a blessing because I was scouted for the position by own department head and the administrator coordinator aka the head bookkeeper which is also fantastic and surprising. I guess, good things are happening my way and I should be happy and I am, though with the advent of this, my depression has been trying to lure its ugly head back into my life which I don’t appreciate. I don’t love it. I know it’s something I can’t get away from but I do know that it can be managed. I’m looking into TMS, again but I can’t afford it this year since my money went to my teeth and by teeth, I mean my 7 crowns in my mouth. Which was still surprisingly expensive even with the dental grant but they look ah fucking amazing. You bet I’m taking care of them better and better these days and paying attention to my mental and dental health more and more. Looks, like things are going well for me as I start the new position with new pay on Monday. So much to learn, so excited!
It’s like the great quote says: DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU, BELIEVE IN ME THAT BELIEVES IN YOU! Bonus points if you know who said it and where it is from. It’s something that I latched onto pretty quickly at how easily it made sense in my life. Valentine’s Day–I barely survived working it but I did manage to celebrate my dad’s birthday the day after because it falls on V-Day and we took him out to his favorite restaurant, which is mostly known for their breakfast dishes and whatnot. And we all ordered the same thing, which is frankly hilarious to me but it was enjoyable! Got to meet my younger bro’s girlfriend again and I really do like her and hope that they remain a couple because I can see her having a very positive influence on him, which he needs greatly.
Then I’m on the path of losing weight again! Back down to 113.4 which is another feat for me because it’s done. It’s done because of the Wegovy and the bariatric surgery that I got back in 2021.
It feels good to be healthy and fantastic looking in terms of my skin and appearance and actually feeling beautiful for myself. In the end, I’m replaying back games I meant to finish and finding the conviction to finish them and I’m grateful because of that.
In the end, my husband got better though with a slight cough but it’s fine for now when he’s fully recovered from that damnable cold that knocked him down a lot.
My only serious thoughts go to work and the fact that my cunt of a mother (pardon my French), but she deserves it after all the abuse she put me through and what I’ve dealt with regarding living with her throughout my adolescence. Plus, she lied about my dad being the abuser and domestic abuser so yeah, and I held a grudge for a mother that treated me like a pawn for all these years instead of her daughter and a person. Kids are still their own person. Parents forget themselves in that respect. In the end, she and I don’t have a relationship and I’m trying to process through therapy all that she’s done to me, though I heard that she’s still unhappy which gives me pleasure, and is still being a cunt and body shaming my husband about his weight and appearance. She has the balls to say he’s ugly and hairy. What else do you expect? He’s a man and has hair, plus that’s his body. She shouldn’t really be speaking about things like that but I find it funny and pitiful that’s her life now. She may be a size 6 as she claims, but she’ll always be unhappy.
New layout incoming next month! Or rather later in March! I have plans and ambitions for it! Stay tuned!
